Hello,
Long time, no see! It has been over a year since I've even read any of these posts. If you read the other posts below, everything involved a part of my personal journey with poker and its influence on my life. Right now, I have not been playing poker, but I am still very much living it.
In a nutshell, I am now married and have a step-daughter, I finally graduated from Rutgers and am considering going back for my Masters, and I am completely happy. All of this is not without hardship, of course. And by me saying that, it means that I know there will be plenty more upsets to come in my future. Therefore, I rely on my poker-inspired game plan, which is to maintain the strength and perserverance to make the right decisions even after facing upsetting results. I have learned how to make the tough gambles with careful consideration and feel free knowing I can live with the choices I have made.
I won't write about all my up-and-downs in this post. But just to give you an idea, imagine what it's like to almost be kicked out of school, to get to the 3rd round of interviewing for a real career and not get a call back from the employer, and to not have my expectations met by my wife, lose control, and never know when the word "divorce" is going to come up again during any given week. All these big, mutha-load, steaming pile of sh!ts with the sense of bewilderment beyond any of my control. But I tell you what... I have been trying to let go of my emotions, my expectations, and my attachments, and so far I feel okay. If things don't work out for me, I can feel okay knowing that I did work hard and try to be a better person and that these things I went through will help me on my next journey within this lifelong journey.
"If you've ever been to a place you think you don't know how to get out of, stay in that place, get comfortable, and just know it will probably be the last, most comfortable place you've ever stayed in"
--Andrew, Live Today: Poker Journals
Friday, July 13, 2012
Monday, January 17, 2011
-$240 loss @ Borgata $3/6 Limit
I had a nice time at Borgata 1/14 Friday... but I lost $240 in the 3-6 Limit game to kick-off my first live game of the New Year.
I went down with my brothers and sister-in-law. Gerald, my second oldest brother, sat at my table and to the right of me. He got a chance to browse the Swayne "Advanced Degree in Hold 'Em" book on the 1.5 hour ride to AC. Gerald also quizzed us and noted the importance of mathematics and probability in poker. I think the book may have helped boost his confidence going into the game because he had such a positive energy by the time we got there and he did well that night.
Ganesh, my oldest brother played a little bit at my table. I don't think he ever really takes limit poker seriously enough, which is disappointing because I think it could really give him a better outlook on the game.
My sister-in-law, Sharmila (Gerald's wife), had a really rough night at the no-limit $1/2 tables, but I think she has a decent handle on the swings as she is still in the black (profiting).
As for myself: I love the game, I played patiently, I went in with the goods.. But perhaps I'm a little rusty. I remember how much more confidence and understanding I had last year being that I was playing so much online tournament-poker (at least 5 hours a day on average). As with anything you value or reach after in life, you have to put your time in, hold onto that vision, and never stop working your ass off.
*note: I plan on keeping my poker stats and development on here for all of 2011
I went down with my brothers and sister-in-law. Gerald, my second oldest brother, sat at my table and to the right of me. He got a chance to browse the Swayne "Advanced Degree in Hold 'Em" book on the 1.5 hour ride to AC. Gerald also quizzed us and noted the importance of mathematics and probability in poker. I think the book may have helped boost his confidence going into the game because he had such a positive energy by the time we got there and he did well that night.
Ganesh, my oldest brother played a little bit at my table. I don't think he ever really takes limit poker seriously enough, which is disappointing because I think it could really give him a better outlook on the game.
My sister-in-law, Sharmila (Gerald's wife), had a really rough night at the no-limit $1/2 tables, but I think she has a decent handle on the swings as she is still in the black (profiting).
As for myself: I love the game, I played patiently, I went in with the goods.. But perhaps I'm a little rusty. I remember how much more confidence and understanding I had last year being that I was playing so much online tournament-poker (at least 5 hours a day on average). As with anything you value or reach after in life, you have to put your time in, hold onto that vision, and never stop working your ass off.
*note: I plan on keeping my poker stats and development on here for all of 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Swayne's Advanced Degree in Hold 'Em -- Charles Swayne
start with low-limit poker
I just started reading this college-feel textbook. I don't even know how to summarize it yet other than the fact that I now have more desire to play more poker and do the assignments listed in the book. It has a wealth of advanced diagrams, figures, tables, scenarios, assignments, and a hell-a-lot of solid words that wreak of poker empowerment.
Swayne first starts off emphasizing that you gotta know low-stakes limit play if you want to become a world-class high limit and no limit cash game player and eventually a no limit deep-stack tournament pro. Playing low-limit helps you with mostly math and some psychology so you're better prepared for the deeply psychological game that higher stakes Hold 'Em requires. Professionals know how to play post-flop. This is where making the living off poker begins, and I couldn't agree more with the notion of playing limit again to improve my post-flop psychology. A player's intentions are more likely to be revealed in limit play, which you are less likely to see and learn from in a no-limit game (my 2cents).
This book is a journey... A journey to the deepest and darkest ranks that any poker player could aspire to get lost in...
First Assignment:
play 250,000 limit hands (I will do micro/penny stakes rather than the recommended play money, and a hell-a-lot of multi-tabling ;-)
I just started reading this college-feel textbook. I don't even know how to summarize it yet other than the fact that I now have more desire to play more poker and do the assignments listed in the book. It has a wealth of advanced diagrams, figures, tables, scenarios, assignments, and a hell-a-lot of solid words that wreak of poker empowerment.
Swayne first starts off emphasizing that you gotta know low-stakes limit play if you want to become a world-class high limit and no limit cash game player and eventually a no limit deep-stack tournament pro. Playing low-limit helps you with mostly math and some psychology so you're better prepared for the deeply psychological game that higher stakes Hold 'Em requires. Professionals know how to play post-flop. This is where making the living off poker begins, and I couldn't agree more with the notion of playing limit again to improve my post-flop psychology. A player's intentions are more likely to be revealed in limit play, which you are less likely to see and learn from in a no-limit game (my 2cents).
This book is a journey... A journey to the deepest and darkest ranks that any poker player could aspire to get lost in...
First Assignment:
play 250,000 limit hands (I will do micro/penny stakes rather than the recommended play money, and a hell-a-lot of multi-tabling ;-)
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Amnesia
update on my withdrawn GP = Gameplan post, other failures, but also some positive accomplishments and insights
FAIL!
I wanted to title this post "Failure" because I have not stuck to my gameplan. I did well for three and a half weeks, but something came up to excuse me from sticking to my three set gameplans made in the last post. Everyday, I was supposed to be playing poker, working out, and running until December 31 of this year, but I have failed to stick to what I promised to do. Even though I did not get to prove I could do it, I feel there are still things I managed to do over the last few months and things that I have realized that will help my future. The most important thing I've learned is to take the hit, learn from it, and let go of the pain and be relentless, hence: to have "Amnesia."
I have three excuses for not sticking to my game plan: helping my brother improve his health and well-being as well as supporting him during his job search, many vacations with family, and fear of gaining nothing from doing my gameplan.
The best things I can say about these excuses are that my brother has greatly improved his health; I have become an expert at dealing with people and expressing my true self in ways that others can relate to and enjoy at the same time; and I have done the 12 mile run at least once a week on average. However, practically, I do not have much to show for over the last few months. This is where goals come into play...
What have I not done: I have not sorted out my path to finishing college; I have not proved my perseverance and courage; I have not profited in terms of money or career. I also took a big hit at my best friend's wedding when I screwed up a speech I made that woulda definitely brought it home for who I am and for my family, friends, and loved ones.
What can I be more than proud of: running about 20 miles a week average, working out, not spending money, and great work-family-friend relations. I've been improving my run times, and in under 3 months, I have gone from 8:40 min/miles @ 6.92mph to 6:55 min/miles @8.67mph for the 12 mile run. I have also started weight training in early October (thanks to a new weight room added to my apartment complex) which has already tweaked my running performance. Also, the two weeks after I ruined the wedding speech (which I was completely torn about that night, not even wanting to go back into the reception hall for the dancing part), I broke my running record-times twice and kept my head up high going to work and interacting with others.
I'll be back soon with some more clarity on my bewildered thoughts. But as you can tell, I'm keeping the move on, slipping here and there but not letting it get to me. I was watching a Monday-night NFL game on October 11th, about 3 days after my best friend's wedding, and it was between the Minnesota Vikings and New York Jets. It came down to the end of the 4th quarter, and Brett Favre had to push the ball into the endzone from the other side of the field to take the lead. Sadly, a simple pass that would have lead to a big play was thrown a little too high incomplete, and Favre knew it all too easily. I will not forget what the commentators said about Favre, something along the lines of, "Favre knows he should have made that pass with the receiver having no one ahead of him but open-field. But if you know anything about Favre, he's got amnesia and knows how to best move on to the next play." Knowing of Brett Favre's greatness in the NFL and the pressure he has to face as a Quarterback and team leader, I know this obviously was not the first time he's had to face an upset. The greatest thing is actually that he knows he has been able to make great things happen and that he has to have amnesia and move on to keep making successful plays happen whether in the moment or in the next game or in the next season.
Too often have I seen other people afraid to do what worked for them for fear of having to deal with that bad taste if a failure should be the result. This is what makes you or breaks you, and for those who are successful, it is not that they take fewer losses than everyone else. For myself, I've recognized that my losses will only grow, but only as the residue of my perfect design for making myself the greatest. We all have to develop faith in amnesia to help us move through our mistakes and remember how painless and easy it is to move on and have even more of what it takes to make greatness in ourselves.
--Andrew
FAIL!
I wanted to title this post "Failure" because I have not stuck to my gameplan. I did well for three and a half weeks, but something came up to excuse me from sticking to my three set gameplans made in the last post. Everyday, I was supposed to be playing poker, working out, and running until December 31 of this year, but I have failed to stick to what I promised to do. Even though I did not get to prove I could do it, I feel there are still things I managed to do over the last few months and things that I have realized that will help my future. The most important thing I've learned is to take the hit, learn from it, and let go of the pain and be relentless, hence: to have "Amnesia."
I have three excuses for not sticking to my game plan: helping my brother improve his health and well-being as well as supporting him during his job search, many vacations with family, and fear of gaining nothing from doing my gameplan.
The best things I can say about these excuses are that my brother has greatly improved his health; I have become an expert at dealing with people and expressing my true self in ways that others can relate to and enjoy at the same time; and I have done the 12 mile run at least once a week on average. However, practically, I do not have much to show for over the last few months. This is where goals come into play...
What have I not done: I have not sorted out my path to finishing college; I have not proved my perseverance and courage; I have not profited in terms of money or career. I also took a big hit at my best friend's wedding when I screwed up a speech I made that woulda definitely brought it home for who I am and for my family, friends, and loved ones.
What can I be more than proud of: running about 20 miles a week average, working out, not spending money, and great work-family-friend relations. I've been improving my run times, and in under 3 months, I have gone from 8:40 min/miles @ 6.92mph to 6:55 min/miles @8.67mph for the 12 mile run. I have also started weight training in early October (thanks to a new weight room added to my apartment complex) which has already tweaked my running performance. Also, the two weeks after I ruined the wedding speech (which I was completely torn about that night, not even wanting to go back into the reception hall for the dancing part), I broke my running record-times twice and kept my head up high going to work and interacting with others.
I'll be back soon with some more clarity on my bewildered thoughts. But as you can tell, I'm keeping the move on, slipping here and there but not letting it get to me. I was watching a Monday-night NFL game on October 11th, about 3 days after my best friend's wedding, and it was between the Minnesota Vikings and New York Jets. It came down to the end of the 4th quarter, and Brett Favre had to push the ball into the endzone from the other side of the field to take the lead. Sadly, a simple pass that would have lead to a big play was thrown a little too high incomplete, and Favre knew it all too easily. I will not forget what the commentators said about Favre, something along the lines of, "Favre knows he should have made that pass with the receiver having no one ahead of him but open-field. But if you know anything about Favre, he's got amnesia and knows how to best move on to the next play." Knowing of Brett Favre's greatness in the NFL and the pressure he has to face as a Quarterback and team leader, I know this obviously was not the first time he's had to face an upset. The greatest thing is actually that he knows he has been able to make great things happen and that he has to have amnesia and move on to keep making successful plays happen whether in the moment or in the next game or in the next season.
Too often have I seen other people afraid to do what worked for them for fear of having to deal with that bad taste if a failure should be the result. This is what makes you or breaks you, and for those who are successful, it is not that they take fewer losses than everyone else. For myself, I've recognized that my losses will only grow, but only as the residue of my perfect design for making myself the greatest. We all have to develop faith in amnesia to help us move through our mistakes and remember how painless and easy it is to move on and have even more of what it takes to make greatness in ourselves.
--Andrew
Friday, July 16, 2010
GP = Game Plan
poker everyday, working out everyday, running everyday
This is it right here...
Been 2 weeks, not much other than chatting away on "The Office" TV show threads that stream every episode while everyone puts in their two cents, running to and working at the art gallery, and ???. Yeah. What have I learned??
Well, for one, I've become better at feeling out my Self online and timing my comments and jokes and battles. Poker, I swear, applies to everything. And now, I want to apply it fully to the rest of my life. My entire life.
Game Plan
A set schedule until December 31, 2010. I wanted to do 365 days into next July, but I can't do a full GP marathon... yet. (I will write quick notes at the end of each day.)
Everyday: Running. At least 3 miles. Exceptions include sick, injury, extreme weather, and specified vacation days.
Everyday: Working out. 8 sets of push-ups and sit-ups everyday.
Everyday: Poker. This is the sickest of all. But it's a psychological battle and a war with never-ending, self-inflicted benefits.
My inspiration is loosely based off of the 12 miles I've been able to run and the fact that I'm insane enough to do the Game Plan. It's more than overdue that I take responsibility for my own life instead of running in the wrong direction or procrastinating. Communication with others is just as important, as I do not see the point in kicking people out of my life as they should be there to celebrate my successes with me and maybe get something out of it for their own development. These 3 positive parts of my Game Plan will trickle well into all parts of my life. In setting my Game Plan, I actually do not know the specific outcome or purpose as it is an inductive game plan, which basically means we'll find out what happens.
I would have liked to have aimed for 365, but I realized something from running 12 miles: You can't jump into a marathon. It takes training. I have to build confidence, strength, and will for the long haul. I'm at some sort of cross-roads that is laced with absolute potential. I've got this. I know I do. Watch me!
This is it right here...
Been 2 weeks, not much other than chatting away on "The Office" TV show threads that stream every episode while everyone puts in their two cents, running to and working at the art gallery, and ???. Yeah. What have I learned??
Well, for one, I've become better at feeling out my Self online and timing my comments and jokes and battles. Poker, I swear, applies to everything. And now, I want to apply it fully to the rest of my life. My entire life.
Game Plan
A set schedule until December 31, 2010. I wanted to do 365 days into next July, but I can't do a full GP marathon... yet. (I will write quick notes at the end of each day.)
Everyday: Running. At least 3 miles. Exceptions include sick, injury, extreme weather, and specified vacation days.
Everyday: Working out. 8 sets of push-ups and sit-ups everyday.
Everyday: Poker. This is the sickest of all. But it's a psychological battle and a war with never-ending, self-inflicted benefits.
My inspiration is loosely based off of the 12 miles I've been able to run and the fact that I'm insane enough to do the Game Plan. It's more than overdue that I take responsibility for my own life instead of running in the wrong direction or procrastinating. Communication with others is just as important, as I do not see the point in kicking people out of my life as they should be there to celebrate my successes with me and maybe get something out of it for their own development. These 3 positive parts of my Game Plan will trickle well into all parts of my life. In setting my Game Plan, I actually do not know the specific outcome or purpose as it is an inductive game plan, which basically means we'll find out what happens.
I would have liked to have aimed for 365, but I realized something from running 12 miles: You can't jump into a marathon. It takes training. I have to build confidence, strength, and will for the long haul. I'm at some sort of cross-roads that is laced with absolute potential. I've got this. I know I do. Watch me!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
2 Week Break: I've Been Winning!!.. But Now I'm Stuck in Gears
update on my wins, my running insanity, and my recent "immobilarity"
The last time I played was June 18th, 2 weeks ago, where I placed 2nd in a 665 player $2.20 tourney. Exactly a month prior, May 18th, I got "First Place Baby!!!" (what I texted to my brother and sister-in-law) in a 3600 player 10 cents with 50 cent rebuys/add-ons. In-between that time, my tournament play had proven formidable and relentless. I just kept pushing into the higher ranks during tourney play, being chip leader in the middle-to-late ladder of the tourney on plenty of occasions. The only thing keeping me from finishing in a high place was me not being used to having such a huge chip lead. I should have taken the tight-passive walk to the final table rather than being tempted to change gears. This is where I've learned that changing gears and STAYING in gear becomes a vital necessity for survival in any tournament. Of course, the key is also knowing the exact moment when to change gears again and not stay stuck in gears.
For the long run, my marathon, I suppose my own personal break from poker these past two weeks is me staying in the tight-passive gear. Am I depressed? I don't know, and I don't think so. One thing that's keeping my head straight is knowing that life is so full of undiscovered beauty. I know things can only get better, and the better I become the more I can and will explore. Perhaps I don't want to lose what I've earned (monetarily and spiritually) before I've gotten a chance to learn how to repeat it. I'm also just taking this time to remind myself that I'm still human and not king of the world or king of poker. I'm just taking this time to be tight-passive because maybe I am in the chip lead of life and not ready to lose any of it just yet.
I am in the $900 black zone, and closing in on $1000 (my first major goal). But before I get there, I've decided to change plans and buy myself a great pair of running shoes. Yes, I'm taking $100 out of my winnings to aide my recent means of sustenance: Running. My left knee and foot have been killing me after long runs, and I'm not going to kill myself before I break the $1000 mark. Also, running is probably one of the most relative teachers of discipline and resilience in my life right now that also fuels my poker strengths. Let's look at it as both a short-term and long-term investment on multiple venues.
Peter Max, a big artist featured at the gallery I work for, said, "Destinations don't interest me as much as the process of getting there." Max has been painting art since he was young, but in his 30s all he did was paint with little-to-no appraisal. Only later did he start reaping the rewards and is now one of the few artists to ever achieve such popularity whilst being alive. I think that being any type of artist, in which not everyone will understand your style of reasoning, we have to develop a sense of pride and joy in what we do. Many other occupations, careers, and hobbies gather more "support" and approval from society, family, and friends, and the rewards for them are more direct or consistent. A true artist and poker player must be less results-oriented and more process-oriented. The process of anything must be enjoyed and driven more than the result. "If you only focus on the result, you'll never figure out how to get there" (Andrew, Live Today: Poker Journals).
One of the major things you hear from all poker pros is to treat poker like one, long marathon. What this means is you can't sprint the whole way, you must survive to the end, and you have to learn to adapt to many different situations. If we want to translate this purely in terms of money and poker, then it also means you can't expect to win huge amounts every time, you must practice solid money management and believe in winning in the long run, and you have to change gears and adapt because the game is constantly changing.
Well, I've been upping my marathon-esque running game against the crooked streets, broken glass, and speeding traffic, maintaining the confidence to do a 12-mile run to my art gallery. We're talking running through Newark, Irvington, Maplewood, and then to Short Hills, so you can imagine the environmental changes and types of looks I get from various types of people on that run. What keeps me going?? Believing in the process. You just have to keep pushing, keep remembering to breathe and stay in good form, stride-for-stride. Not worry what others think of you or how you look. Keep your head up, your shoulders and chest up, and arms steadily pumping in good rhythm for your legs to emulate and your lungs to appreciate. "When you focus on making the right moves and making the best decisions, everything else will follow and nothing else will matter" (Andrew).
I usually take the train back home after I finish work at the gallery, which still requires a 2.5-mile run to the station. But one time, I ran to work, worked for 8 hours, then decided to do the 12-miles back home late one pouring-rain night (partially cuz I was down to $2.00 in my bank account and couldn't afford the train back nor willing to borrow from my co-workers). It was so sick... My legs felt like they were going to fall apart at the most crucial moments, my body and my shoes were drenched in rain and sweat, and my head was on the verge of blacking out. Imagine having no legs or at least thinking they're swinging around in circles below you. Then imagine, somehow, that you've become so insanely full of pride and self-accomplishment (cuz no one else gets it) that you're willing to risk continuing your sloppy, wet run while looking like an injured zebra ripe for the killing, testing all the local gangs of lions and hyenas. (I don't care if you're the fastest marathon runner alive... Just try and do that shit, sun!).
Alright, well, realistically and honestly, I never gloat or even relish in the greatness of my own accomplishments no matter how sick they are. Usually, I keep them to myself or deflect any further praise extending past "good job" from others. But I think that by writing all this, I'm feeling better about getting back into the game and doing my thing. Obviously, by being tight-passive I have risked not being in action for some time. In poker and running, I have pushed myself past the limit, which has proven to be a rewarding yet scary thing. Scary not because of the risk of failure, but the risk of not continuing to do the regular things. For example, I haven't kept up with the shorter-distance runs, I'm feeling lazier than before, and I'm not sure why I've taken such a long, 2-week break from poker especially after such success. I still feel proud of my achievements, but perhaps I am forgetting the beauty of the process in what I do and over-focusing and somehow putting myself down over the results. I mean, I did only get 2nd place in my last tournament, eh?
"You can't lose what you don't put in the middle
...
But you can't win much either." -- Mike McDermott
The last time I played was June 18th, 2 weeks ago, where I placed 2nd in a 665 player $2.20 tourney. Exactly a month prior, May 18th, I got "First Place Baby!!!" (what I texted to my brother and sister-in-law) in a 3600 player 10 cents with 50 cent rebuys/add-ons. In-between that time, my tournament play had proven formidable and relentless. I just kept pushing into the higher ranks during tourney play, being chip leader in the middle-to-late ladder of the tourney on plenty of occasions. The only thing keeping me from finishing in a high place was me not being used to having such a huge chip lead. I should have taken the tight-passive walk to the final table rather than being tempted to change gears. This is where I've learned that changing gears and STAYING in gear becomes a vital necessity for survival in any tournament. Of course, the key is also knowing the exact moment when to change gears again and not stay stuck in gears.
For the long run, my marathon, I suppose my own personal break from poker these past two weeks is me staying in the tight-passive gear. Am I depressed? I don't know, and I don't think so. One thing that's keeping my head straight is knowing that life is so full of undiscovered beauty. I know things can only get better, and the better I become the more I can and will explore. Perhaps I don't want to lose what I've earned (monetarily and spiritually) before I've gotten a chance to learn how to repeat it. I'm also just taking this time to remind myself that I'm still human and not king of the world or king of poker. I'm just taking this time to be tight-passive because maybe I am in the chip lead of life and not ready to lose any of it just yet.
I am in the $900 black zone, and closing in on $1000 (my first major goal). But before I get there, I've decided to change plans and buy myself a great pair of running shoes. Yes, I'm taking $100 out of my winnings to aide my recent means of sustenance: Running. My left knee and foot have been killing me after long runs, and I'm not going to kill myself before I break the $1000 mark. Also, running is probably one of the most relative teachers of discipline and resilience in my life right now that also fuels my poker strengths. Let's look at it as both a short-term and long-term investment on multiple venues.
Peter Max, a big artist featured at the gallery I work for, said, "Destinations don't interest me as much as the process of getting there." Max has been painting art since he was young, but in his 30s all he did was paint with little-to-no appraisal. Only later did he start reaping the rewards and is now one of the few artists to ever achieve such popularity whilst being alive. I think that being any type of artist, in which not everyone will understand your style of reasoning, we have to develop a sense of pride and joy in what we do. Many other occupations, careers, and hobbies gather more "support" and approval from society, family, and friends, and the rewards for them are more direct or consistent. A true artist and poker player must be less results-oriented and more process-oriented. The process of anything must be enjoyed and driven more than the result. "If you only focus on the result, you'll never figure out how to get there" (Andrew, Live Today: Poker Journals).
One of the major things you hear from all poker pros is to treat poker like one, long marathon. What this means is you can't sprint the whole way, you must survive to the end, and you have to learn to adapt to many different situations. If we want to translate this purely in terms of money and poker, then it also means you can't expect to win huge amounts every time, you must practice solid money management and believe in winning in the long run, and you have to change gears and adapt because the game is constantly changing.
Well, I've been upping my marathon-esque running game against the crooked streets, broken glass, and speeding traffic, maintaining the confidence to do a 12-mile run to my art gallery. We're talking running through Newark, Irvington, Maplewood, and then to Short Hills, so you can imagine the environmental changes and types of looks I get from various types of people on that run. What keeps me going?? Believing in the process. You just have to keep pushing, keep remembering to breathe and stay in good form, stride-for-stride. Not worry what others think of you or how you look. Keep your head up, your shoulders and chest up, and arms steadily pumping in good rhythm for your legs to emulate and your lungs to appreciate. "When you focus on making the right moves and making the best decisions, everything else will follow and nothing else will matter" (Andrew).
I usually take the train back home after I finish work at the gallery, which still requires a 2.5-mile run to the station. But one time, I ran to work, worked for 8 hours, then decided to do the 12-miles back home late one pouring-rain night (partially cuz I was down to $2.00 in my bank account and couldn't afford the train back nor willing to borrow from my co-workers). It was so sick... My legs felt like they were going to fall apart at the most crucial moments, my body and my shoes were drenched in rain and sweat, and my head was on the verge of blacking out. Imagine having no legs or at least thinking they're swinging around in circles below you. Then imagine, somehow, that you've become so insanely full of pride and self-accomplishment (cuz no one else gets it) that you're willing to risk continuing your sloppy, wet run while looking like an injured zebra ripe for the killing, testing all the local gangs of lions and hyenas. (I don't care if you're the fastest marathon runner alive... Just try and do that shit, sun!).
Alright, well, realistically and honestly, I never gloat or even relish in the greatness of my own accomplishments no matter how sick they are. Usually, I keep them to myself or deflect any further praise extending past "good job" from others. But I think that by writing all this, I'm feeling better about getting back into the game and doing my thing. Obviously, by being tight-passive I have risked not being in action for some time. In poker and running, I have pushed myself past the limit, which has proven to be a rewarding yet scary thing. Scary not because of the risk of failure, but the risk of not continuing to do the regular things. For example, I haven't kept up with the shorter-distance runs, I'm feeling lazier than before, and I'm not sure why I've taken such a long, 2-week break from poker especially after such success. I still feel proud of my achievements, but perhaps I am forgetting the beauty of the process in what I do and over-focusing and somehow putting myself down over the results. I mean, I did only get 2nd place in my last tournament, eh?
"You can't lose what you don't put in the middle
...
But you can't win much either." -- Mike McDermott
Monday, March 1, 2010
Poker Theory 101: "The Psychology of Poker" and "Killer Poker" book reviews
Reading and studying is essential for developing any skill. I'm on Schoonmaker and Sklansky's "The Psychology of Poker" and Vorhaus' "Killer Poker." For the psychology book, it's about textbooking your opponents and your own playing style (i.e. tight-aggressive), and playing accordingly. For the killer book, it's about you, and there is actually more self-actualization and interpersonal connection in "Killer Poker" than the psychology book. Both books are great poker-reading, and while I was already familiar with most of their concepts, I am starting to see a positive change in my thought-process.
"The Psychology of Poker" is an advanced book that has exercises to get you thinking about your individual style as well as that of other players. Basic-strategy is not discussed except to make certain examples. What this means is that you're going deeper into people's heads. For example: if player A calls often with very few bets or raises, he is loose-passive. Then it goes into depths about what to do when playing these types, the fluctuations these players may have in a session, and how other players may play your type.
The greatest change I've noticed after reading "The Psychology of Poker" is that I am starting to engage in objective discussions with myself while playing hands, which have helped make decisions easier. For example, in the middle of a tourney, this tight-passive guy 2X-raised under-the-gun, everyone folded, and I had pocket Queens in the Big Blind. I made it 6X total, and he flat-calls. I talk to myself: "I'm putting him on AK, Tens, or Nines. He would have bet more in UTG with anything better. A medium flop comes out, T98. I bet 2/3 and he smooth-calls. Something's going on here... If he had Jacks, Kings, or Aces he would have shoved confidently. He's not drawing with AK. The 7 hits the Turn. I "request time" and think about why I shouldn't bet. I check and he checks. Okay, that was nice he didn't bet the turn. The River hits a 6, so now there's a straight on board. I'm pretty sure he didn't UTG-2X with Jacks for a higher straight, and maybe he puts me on Jacks. I check, he shoves all of his chips in, and I call. He shows 99 for a flopped set."
"Killer Poker" is about kicking your own ass, and choosing the harsh reality of change. Vorhaus subtitles his book: "Strategy and Tactics for Winning Poker Play." Basic strategy is not really mentioned, but I do remember him asking something along the lines of "have you ever driven down the [insert highway] to [favorite casino] and thought about turning around?" Vorhaus instigates a lot of questions that we all should be asking ourselves, and his topics base themselves around self-actualization and knowing why we do what we do and why we play loser-poker when we'd be better off analyzing rather than playing. There is a lot of discussion about taking yourself out of your comfort zone in order to understand and build your poker play. Being a professional of anything takes nothing less than hard work, declining indulgences, and developing a fearless attitude. Being a professional poker player also takes discipline, skill, and bankroll management, and in order to develop and understand these three things, we must put ourselves in uncomfortable situations to the point we can understand them and make appropriate decisions without fear, confusion, or compulsion.
Developing any skill requires learning, making necessary changes, and adjusting your play, whether in life or in poker or both. It is not always about learning the new things. It is more about challenging and fine-tuning what we already know, putting it into positive action, and collecting "books" that remind us what we're supposed to be doing. I know a lot of this stuff already, as you probably should, too. But I think it always helps to have a reminder of reinforcement to strengthen what we do got.
"The Psychology of Poker" is an advanced book that has exercises to get you thinking about your individual style as well as that of other players. Basic-strategy is not discussed except to make certain examples. What this means is that you're going deeper into people's heads. For example: if player A calls often with very few bets or raises, he is loose-passive. Then it goes into depths about what to do when playing these types, the fluctuations these players may have in a session, and how other players may play your type.
The greatest change I've noticed after reading "The Psychology of Poker" is that I am starting to engage in objective discussions with myself while playing hands, which have helped make decisions easier. For example, in the middle of a tourney, this tight-passive guy 2X-raised under-the-gun, everyone folded, and I had pocket Queens in the Big Blind. I made it 6X total, and he flat-calls. I talk to myself: "I'm putting him on AK, Tens, or Nines. He would have bet more in UTG with anything better. A medium flop comes out, T98. I bet 2/3 and he smooth-calls. Something's going on here... If he had Jacks, Kings, or Aces he would have shoved confidently. He's not drawing with AK. The 7 hits the Turn. I "request time" and think about why I shouldn't bet. I check and he checks. Okay, that was nice he didn't bet the turn. The River hits a 6, so now there's a straight on board. I'm pretty sure he didn't UTG-2X with Jacks for a higher straight, and maybe he puts me on Jacks. I check, he shoves all of his chips in, and I call. He shows 99 for a flopped set."
"Killer Poker" is about kicking your own ass, and choosing the harsh reality of change. Vorhaus subtitles his book: "Strategy and Tactics for Winning Poker Play." Basic strategy is not really mentioned, but I do remember him asking something along the lines of "have you ever driven down the [insert highway] to [favorite casino] and thought about turning around?" Vorhaus instigates a lot of questions that we all should be asking ourselves, and his topics base themselves around self-actualization and knowing why we do what we do and why we play loser-poker when we'd be better off analyzing rather than playing. There is a lot of discussion about taking yourself out of your comfort zone in order to understand and build your poker play. Being a professional of anything takes nothing less than hard work, declining indulgences, and developing a fearless attitude. Being a professional poker player also takes discipline, skill, and bankroll management, and in order to develop and understand these three things, we must put ourselves in uncomfortable situations to the point we can understand them and make appropriate decisions without fear, confusion, or compulsion.
Developing any skill requires learning, making necessary changes, and adjusting your play, whether in life or in poker or both. It is not always about learning the new things. It is more about challenging and fine-tuning what we already know, putting it into positive action, and collecting "books" that remind us what we're supposed to be doing. I know a lot of this stuff already, as you probably should, too. But I think it always helps to have a reminder of reinforcement to strengthen what we do got.
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